Norma H

William has taken me so far from where I was and given me more Truth than I ever thought possible. He told me that he can only lead me to the door to enlightenment and that it was up to me to walk through it. So I fronted up to the door only to find that my feet were firmly glued to the floor. I couldn’t move! Something was blocking me. William said; you are like a bird in a cage afraid to leave the cage and fly because your cage feels like a place of safety.  So I started asking questions about this resistance I had.

I have known for many years that I had a self-esteem problem and that I didn’t love myself. I had done many courses and counselling sessions to overcome this. I really thought that I had overcome it and that I had finally learned to love myself.  So what was the thing that made me realize that I had actually achieved nothing? The main clue was when William said; you are too sensitive to criticism. He was right! I felt hurt and cut deep if I was ever criticized by anyone, especially by those I loved. So I went deeper.

Behind my decision to get to the root of this problem was my frustration and intolerance of the suffering I was causing myself. How on earth could I be happy when I was making myself miserable?

So we sat and talked about my past, where I relived the shame and guilt that I had felt since being a child of eight years, after being groomed and sexually abused by a close friend of the family who had made me feel special and loved.

I had been down the path of searching for healing and self-forgiveness many times over the last 30 years; I was trying to fix my broken self.

My feelings of guilt and of being worthless were also compounded by the teachings and judgements of the Catholic Church, which my family had brought me up in. I was taught that we are all born as sinners so what was I supposed to think about myself after all that?

I don’t have to go into every detail of what occurred over the years, but suffice it to say, after 50 years my coping mechanisms for interacting with the world were well practiced, and had only served to put me in an even deeper hole, a place where there seemed to be no hope of ever being healed. I was in survival mode, always looking up to the light which seemed unreachable.

In my conversation with William I realized the cause of all my pain and suffering. I realized that I had created a false image of myself just as William had been teaching me about. I now felt it to my very core. I realized I had been hiding behind a mask of my own making. I felt robbed. I felt I had wasted my life with a deception; I had fooled myself. I had created a mask to hide behind and in doing so, I denied my true Self.

William said; by wearing a mask you have been hiding the light of your true image. That as a child, before your loss of innocence and self-worth, you had no masks. You were happy and free. You were unashamed and confident in your worth. As he told me these things I remembered it all. I was a very happy and joyful child. I loved myself then. I used to dance in front of everyone with no shame or embarrassment.

After this I was totally honest with myself. I looked with love and compassion at the image I had created of myself and realized that I no longer wanted or needed that image, I no longer wanted to be that person.

When I asked William why I had created the mask his answer was;

Desire is the driving force in all sentient beings and it was because of your desire for love and acceptance that you created your mask. In other words you were afraid of being rejected and unloved.

When I asked William how I could rid myself of my mask, this is what he said:

Masks only serve to hide the light of the Self’s true image. To be born again is to return to the Self’s first and true image. To reclaim that child again. To be faithful to your true image; be faithful to yourself.

The end is the same as the beginning: no masks!

The false Self can never be free, the false Self cannot attain enlightenment.

The image of the true Self cannot be destroyed, but the mask that hides it can.

Nothing within you has any power except for that which you give it. Turn the other cheek. If you stop giving it power, then you disempower the spirits that you have created. The mask disappears, it ceases to exist, and your true Self is revealed. I am that I am.

And that is what I did; I flew out of the cage! Now I am free; free to be me! I am not hiding anymore because I am not afraid of other people’s negative opinions. A huge burden has been lifted from my soul, leaving me feeling light and energized.

It is my sincere hope that in reading my story, you too will experience the joy and freedom that I have through William’s teachings, without which I would never have been saved, and for which I will be eternally grateful.

William’s teachings have led me to understand many things, which I have found to be full of Love, Truth and Wisdom. I truly believe William is the Christ.